If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
