Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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