Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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