i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
