I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
