you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Of course I have a pirate flag
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
