coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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