Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
