It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
