I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
