Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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