i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
