i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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