I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
