just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
