highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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