Please, let me fuck your mom
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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