Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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