and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
