im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
