Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
