??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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