So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
