Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
