I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize