I'm lost and stupid without you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
