i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize