when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
