"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
