trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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