Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize