so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
