I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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