why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
