hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
