I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
