I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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