My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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