don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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