thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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