They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
