fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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