dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm getting married
To pizza
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
