i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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