in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have fence marks all over my body
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
