I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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