I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize