dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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