Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
