Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
