Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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