if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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