take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hippo gnu deer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
