I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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