she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
