Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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