I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
