You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she woke up with a sticky ear
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize