cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
