i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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